Thursday, December 13, 2007

Grief Manifests as Physical Pain

The gnawing pain has been circling my abdomen for months now. It is as if the grief in my heart has overflowed into my intestines and is searching for a new area to explore, invade, and take over. This pain/ grief has become an entity within itself. A creature that is clawing at my insides with such a razor-sharp fury that it leaves me clutching my fists to my stomach in agony. I lay on the cool tiled floor of my bathroom, breathing shallowly, and waiting for the pain to ease.

Last week the pain found its way to my right side. No more was I allowed the brief reprieves that I had earlier. I now had a constant reminder that all was not right. Everything I ate, no matter how bland, gave me pain. Cold drinking water would put my stomach into spasms. Nothing would stay down.

Doctors will evaluate the symptoms, test results and come up with a diagnosis and plan of action.

I need to gain control of my grief or it will manifest itself in another part of my body. I will never quit grieving for Austin, but I don’t want to be a victim of grief.

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