I had a dream last night. The kind of dream where it is so real and you wake up right afterwards and relive it again and again over in your mind.
I was at a table, writing in a notebook, making lists in boxes. A list of things that Austin can't do or missed out on.
The top of the page read, A List of Austin.
I wrote…
I can’t tell him I love him.
________________________________
He never got to marry.
________________________________
He didn’t get to have children.
________________________________
He doesn’t know I love him.
________________________________
As I am writing this, Ryan and Austin are both in the room. Austin walks over and reads what I am writing.
Austin said, “Mom, Do I make you smile?”
“Yes, Austin.”
Austin said, “Then smile when you think of me and I will know you are thinking of me and you love me.”
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
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